Sneak peek into my life

i know. im lucky to have 2 beautiful sons at this age. and a wonderful husband.

he does lots of things such as cleaning the house, only once a week. not more. i need to drill 10x more if i want him to do more than once. his reasoning was this is not his house . he will clean more often if it is his house. this, we shall see.

he also looks after kj more often than matty, of course. he prefers kj over matty , understandably, for now. because kj can chat and play and be cheeky.

he is also the dish washer. toilet cleaner. chef 40-50%.

he hates it when i ask him to hang the clothes. we line dry. so he'd prefer to use a dryer for this purpose. but i dislike dryer. we are living in malaysia cmon!

he cannot, CANNOT fold clothes. so im the only one who can do that.

hence we know who can do certain chores and who cannot, we delegate work. we are planning to come up with a timetable when we move. u bet im excited!

he washes my breast pump for me every night. because my fingers are crap.

im appreciative.

and im told i only need to suffer for a short duration when my children are young. i just need to pull through this.

this is my second week of work.

we are surviving. i zonked out every night at 9pm, latest 10pm involuntarily. i love to nurse in sleeping position so that we all can sleep together.

Then, how to get things done?

So i wake up at 5am. feels healthy getting up at dawn. no, im lying. i dread to pull myself up sometimes because I need to get up at 2am to pump milk. while pumping, i get to go online for 30 mins or more. so i'll continue my slumber party at 3am.

if i sleep later than 3am, say 3 something to 4am, means i only get an hour plus of sleep.

5am-6am i need to work around like a cartoon. i prefer to list down the things that needs to be done so that i dont missed them or end up walking front and back (of the house) getting lost, not remembering what to do. does that happen to you?

i got really upset last week but i feel a lot calmer this week. we've bought vegetables in the weekend and i can slowly plan and cook this week(days). not having anything in the fridge makes me feel insecure.

when i get upset, it affects the whole family i guess.

have u ever heard of "if mom is unhappy, no one is happy". i actually bought one fridge magnet with this verse for my mom. -_____-''

so hubs think i worry too much. that i get stressed up easily. they are totally unnecessary.

but hello? dare say if i dont run the family well, what will happen to us?

im not praising myself. what i'd like to point out is that, i cant slack and just be on the run like him. anything comes, comes.

i cant. i need to run my day according to my plan. i need to atleast have a gist of what to do in a day. before i sleep tonight, i need to know what to prepare for kj's breakfast tomorrow, what to pack in his lunch box, what do i eat for my breakfast for instance.

i cant get up in the morning and then look around the kitchen and think what to eat, what to prepare. i dont work this way.

certain things need to be prepared before hand. like if im having oats tomorrow morning, i need to prepare tonight.

honey, get it?

it is not that i am not flexible. i know that on some days, if not most, i cant execute all the things that are in my list. You have not seen my list have you?

By having the list, it gives me a direction and get things going.

It still has not sink into reality. I am still not.

At times I thought that I should free my husband. To wholeheartedly permit him to do sports and to indulge in his hobby in the evening. He’ll come home happy after that. Being a happy dad and husband, he will be a happy maid. But I uncontrollably becomes bitter. Every now and then.

He found his balance. ive lost mine.

He thinks we should not give 100% of our time to our children whilst I want to give more than 100%.

In the evenings, he’ll be out having fun while I’ll be home, running around the house as well as out of the house.

Kj will get his outdoor play in the evening and someone has to chaperone him. That would be me. Aunty will be cooking and when aunty is done , she’ll come out and take over the job while I’ll quickly run into the house and begin to prepare dinner (soak vege/defrost meat/boil soup) and make smoothies (because I will be hungry) and bring out fruits/smoothies for kj. I would prefer to feed him fruits/smoothies before meal, that would be the best time which is before his dinner.

Aunty will sometimes say “don’t eat too much fruit, later u cannot eat dinner”. Obviously it falls on deaf ears. I ignored. Isn’t that rude? ok so then sometimes I will tell her it’s okay, fruits are easily digestible, he’ll get hungry very fast. ;)

Then when the sky gets dark, the children will scramble home and matty will usually be hungry by then. So I’ll need to nurse him. Everything will be frozen when im nursing. Nothing gets done.

So dinner preparation will continue when hubs reaches home and he’ll most likely take over.

But like last night, i manage to eat before he comes home. so dinner was quick and we could bring kj home early and the child can have more play time at home. which also means more chill time before dinner as well as cutting down on TV time (he would usually be watching TV at that hour 7pm-8pm in aunty's house). i am glad hubs admitted it was a mistake to bring kj home at 8pm before this. now he make it a point to bring him home by 7pm.

Therefore I like to have cooked food stocked in the fridge to speed things up. Weekend will then be busy with cooking in bulk. On top of everything else, we still need to follow kj’s sleeping schedule, even on weekends. Grhh. It is rather challenging but what to do?

We sleep in late on weekends, and get up for breakfast/ brunch then marketing then quickly rush home for lunch and force him to take his noon nap. By the time he gets up, it’ll be almost outdoor time. We compromise everything for him! Children comes first in our household.

Not forgetting, we have a new member in the family. Matty is pretty neglected. He is not getting as much attention as I’d love to give.

Also, I found out that I was a wrecked last week because hubs and I are seeing less of one another and we do not get to ‘talk’.

Previously, we catch up in the morning on the way to work. we travel to work together in a car. And we’ll go home for lunch. And he’ll pick me up after work and we go home together. Albeit short distance from home to work, we always make full use of the time together. I guess that was what kept me sane without us realizing.

The moment I stepped home, we don’t communicate much, except giving him orders. We just cant. I’ll be zooming around the house and if the little boy is home, he wouldn’t let us talk. We also cant talk much in the car if he is around. We can have a quiet time after they sleep but it is pretty rare, because like ive mentioned, I’ll be asleep too. At times without even brushing my teeth.

I told hubs to wake me up if I fall asleep but after a few trials, nope, I just couldn’t get up. So now im smarter, I brush my teeth before I nurse.

All these make me constantly think of a solution.

Maid? We don’t have an extra room for her.

Move back? Let’s not think about it.

Preparing home cooked food is now becoming a chore but it is also a dilemma.

Living on our own means I get to control our food.

See? Im difficult to please. I want to have a control over my food. Over my children. Over my house.

What other solutions do I have?

I miss my husband. My baby.

Sept 27 2013

KJ 3 yrs 7 mths

Matty 3.5 mths

when i was a clinical pharmacist

omg! found this in my mailbox and since I've typed it a complete story, might as well post it although it was dated way back in Oct 2010!! lols!

..........

........

......

....

..

.

venue: pharmacy office

i know i shouldnt be doing this but i really can't help it. i dont know where to turn to .

im at the verge of breaking down

clinical is drivnig me nuts. it makes me feel like im the most idiotic living person. he would go "U SEE, i ask u to read before u come. i gave u time to prepare (he gave me a list of things that i should do 2-3 months back) so that when u come to situations like this, we can discuss. what parameters to look at. u see? now u dont know anything, how do i discuss with u? how do u know what lab test to look at?

u should read up. u need to think lke the doctors."

firstly, i would like to read. but i also want to read up about parenting, about how to start teaching my son sign language - baby sign. i also need to read up on a lot of things like what to feed my son. look up in the internet why my son dislikes my cooking.

so it regrets me to the core that i dont have a strong basic. ive whiled away my uni days. i didnt build a strong foundation. given a chance,i would want to turn back time and reverse many other things.

next, to aggravate the current situation, my hb had to disappoint me again. we have been discussing about the same issue during courting days, or atleast it matters to me, i am the one having this issue. i said this because i dont thinik this bothers him at all. another problem is, i dont even know if he knows this is bothering me and i am quite particular about it. that is responsiblity, u need to be accountable. doesnt matter if it is about ur partner, if it is family or work. so u tell me u are responsible in uni. u are a class rep. hence u are accountable. huh? if u are accountable in uni, why cant u be accountable at home? so u prioritize and hence put work before home?

if u are a responsible person, do u, or can u actually choose which 'issue' to be acocuntable?

what are u talking about?

before i am in clinical, i already know that im doomed. my future in my profession is doomed. but being in clinical is like slapping myself awake everyday, telling me how disabled i am.

i am so so free, under this preceptor, after rounds, he let me do my own thing. so my day goes like this. reach work place about 7.30am, flip through the case notes of a few front patients, then 8am when he comes, tag along like a dog, staring at pts, look at what SN is doing. then specialist comes, follow them with an empty brain, like a dog, sniffing through the case notes. end of round. specialist cabut, frp cabut. i quickly clerk case without knowing what is really happening. i clerk for the sake of clerking, so that i can achieve the target and hand in the forms at the end of the rotation. when im done with them? i go and prepare meals for my son, that is to pump milk. then? i dont know what else to do. well, as for today, i came to the office, and read up on certain things. and here i am, blogging away.

i feel like going home. like who knows if i do that? haih. but i know is it ethically incorrect.

oh, 12.45pm, time to go! byee !

Update: 17th Feb 2012

guys, i was actually contemplating if i should remove the family affair paragraph.

we are in our third year of marriage and that is a history now :) glad to be saying this.

we've talked through it and i've believed that home/ us is his first prioritization. well, since it is already there, might as well just let it remained as it is. look at it positively, learn from my story. ;)

kiss daddy

tongue exercise

playing with my butterfly ring

are u ready for this?

shit, dont think i can post it in time in conjunction with the DATE

im late by few minutes (by the time i finish posting the entire entry)

anyway,

if u can make up the puzzles on the cupcakes,

.........

oh, and there were 25 of them

i ate 3 when i was transporting the cakes home cause i was too hungry

i was just brooding over the fact that we couldnt even make it through the 1st on a happier note

dont understand?

it means we didnt go through the day in good spirits

we HAD to argue the night before

sigh

then,

he tried to make it up today after work

drove straight to town,

planned to bring me to Nishiki, a jap restaurant

unfortunately, it wasnt opened till 6.30pm

and we were there before 5.30pm

hence we decided to give LITTLE ITALY a try

if uve been to kota kinabalu,

u'll know how people rave about this restaurant

which i dont fancy!

ugh!

we thought we should give it another chance

but...

bah!

no way im going there again!

italiannies rates better than this over-rated restaurant!

my salmone

salmon was not fresh!

carbonara was soso

we had a rather good time catching up after not talking since last night

his grilled chicken

salmon pizza

salty

ewww

a card which he claimed expressed everything, all his thoughts

i'll reveal the present next time

what i'd like to share now is...

the night had to end bitterly

we came home and i brought the cupcakes into the room

he was elated...

then he brought the cakes out to the living room as i told him to share with the rest

they wanted to go out for dinner first so we left the cakes untouched

did our stuff and my migraine got worse

so after preparing my things,

i stood at the doorway and said " i'll eat the cupcake and im ready for bed"

he said ok and continue surfing the net

hence i sat outside and ate one cake

then another

then i got into the room,

brushed my teeth,

and extorted " how come u didnt go out and eat the cake with me"

he looked a little astonished

"i thought u said u wanted to eat one cake and go to sleep"

"yes, but what is the point of eating it alone?"

do u guys see my point?

do i need further elaboration?

am i too demanding?

yes, it was dump of me to expect or to assume u will go out and sample the cake with me

i thought u should try the cake and give me the feedback?

to tell me if the cake is delicious?

i am speechless

what kind of a celebration?

i mean, how do u celebrate..say a birthday for a friend?

do u buy her/him a cake and then shove it to them and thats it?

u do your own things after that?

u ignore him/her and let her eat it herself?

or was it my mistake that i should actually tell him to go out and try the cakes WITH ME?

i slept right after that and now that im awake to do some chores,

eg washing the diaper, rinse my pump, fill up water into bottles,

i went to check on the cupcakes,

they were untouched

*twist into a knot*

in total, ive eaten 5 and i kept on avoiding eating those with the letters

:(

i didnt want to break the words

:(

not healthy

this is a dilemma.

wives are suppose to do the domestic chores, as they are known to be the domestic wives!

but what happens if both the husband and wife work in the same profession?

after work, the wife has to come home and continue slaving to serve the LIFE partner?

i know, there are wives outside who still have to work and bring money home and yet has to come home and do all the chores.

those people really deserve to be respected.

i cant cope. no matter how embarrassing this is, i still have to admit cause this is the reality.

i wont pretend to be a superwife and supermom when i am not one.

sad right?

i really do love serving him but despite all these while, it just dawned upon me that i just cant do it! :(

life becomes bitter when it reaches this stage.

this is not a healthy start to a new family, especially.

something has to be done.

oh, by the way, ive got a maid :) but she only comes once a week. not helping much when u have a husband who has a full time maid at home, not forgetting a very lenient mom.

it pisses me off when i need to do charity everyday as well. it is unwilling type of charity.

whyyy??? u need to be willing and happy when u want to do charity right?

grhh

runaway

i so so so so feel like running home.

but home is far far away

i so want to just grab my son and off we go

brrruuuupppp

:(

what's the point?

what do u get in the end?

Enee-meeni-meeni-myni-mo!

 i have 3 options :

A) withhold final exam this May and retain for a year. sit for the final exam next year

B) rewind 6 months and vow to study diligently, consistently, religiously. i will. i swear i will. bertaubat

C) heck with it. float along and just take the exam and make babies in greece and dont care about the results thereafter!

mcq. which is the correct best answer?

where-oh-where

when u feel very fragile.

very vulnerable.

lack of care. lack of love. lack of concern.

where do u seek them?

where can u seek them?

tell me. where to buy them

is money everything?

good article

爱的感觉，总是在一开始觉得很甜蜜，
总觉得多一个人陪、多一个人帮你分担，
你终於不再孤单了，至少有一个人想著你、恋著你，
不论做什么事情，
只要能一起，就是好的，
但是慢慢的，随著彼此的认识愈深，
你开始发现了对方的缺点，
於是问题一个接著一个发生，
你开始烦、累，甚至想要逃避，
有人说爱情就像在捡石头，
总想捡到一个适合自己的，
但是你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？
*她适合你，那你又适合她吗?
其实，爱情就像磨石子一样，
或许刚捡到的时候，你不是那么的满意，
但是记住人是有弹性的，
很多事情是可以改变的，
只要你有心、有勇气，
与其到处去捡未知的石头，
还不如好好的将自己已经拥有的石头磨亮磨，你开始磨了吗？
很多人以为是因为感情淡了，
所以人才会变得懒惰。
错！
其实是人先被惰性征服，
所以感情才会变淡的。

*在某个聚餐的场合, 有人提议多吃点虾子对身体好， 这时候有个中年男人忽然说「十年前，当我老婆还是我的女朋友的时候，她说要吃十只虾，我就剥二十只给她！ 现在，如果她要我帮她剥虾壳，开玩笑！我连帮她脱衣服都没兴趣了，还剥虾壳咧！

*听到了吗？明白了吗？
难怪越来越多人只想要谈一辈子的恋爱，却迟迟不肯走入婚姻。
因为，婚姻容易让人变得懒惰。
如果每个人都
懒得讲话、
懒得倾听、
懒得制造惊喜、
懒得温柔体贴，
那么夫妻或是情人之间，
又怎么会不渐行渐远渐无声呢？
所以请记住：
有活力的爱情，
是需要适度殷勤灌溉的，
谈恋爱，更是不可以偷懒的喔！

*有一对情侣，相约下班後去用餐、逛街，可是女孩因为公司会议而延误了， 当她冒著雨赶到的时候已经迟到了30多分钟，他的男朋友很不高兴的说： 你每次都这样，现在我甚么心情也没了， 我以後再也不会等你了！ 刹那间，女孩终於决堤崩溃了，她心里在想：或许，他们再也没有未来了

*同样的在同一个地点，另一对情侣也面临同样的处境； 女孩赶到的时候也迟到了半个钟头，他的男朋友说：我想你一定忙坏了吧！ 接著他为女孩拭去脸上的雨水，并且脱去外套盖在女孩身上， 此刻，女孩流泪了, 但是流过她脸颊的泪却是温馨的。

你体会到了吗？
 *其实爱、恨往往只是在我们的一念之间！

爱不仅要懂得宽容更要及时， 很多事可能只是在於你心境的转变罢了！
懂了吗？
当有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错。
那并不代表你会选择他。
*我们总说：我要找一个你很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。
但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，
你可能无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。

*没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。
可是後来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。
假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？
其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之後才会发现的。
或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，
但是你有没有想过在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了，只是你没发 觉而已呢？
所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧！
他或许已经等你很久喽！

*当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。
所有的期待和希望都只有七八分；剩下两三分用来爱自己。
如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能会给对方沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来， 完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。

 *所以请记住，
喝酒不要超过六分醉，
吃饭不要超过七分饱，
爱一个人不要超过八分

*那天朋友问我：到底该怎么做才算是爱一个人呢？
我笑著跟他说：其实每个人的爱情观都不一样，说对了叫开导，但就怕说错反倒变成误导。那就糟糕了！

*如果你也正在为爱迷惘，或许下面这段话可以给你一些启示：
爱一个人，要了解，也要开解；
要道歉，也要道谢；
要认错，也要改错；
要体贴，也要体谅；
是接受，而不是忍受；
是宽容，而不是纵容；
是支持，而不是支配；
是慰问，而不是质问；
是倾诉，而不是控诉；
是难忘，而不是遗忘；
是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；
是为对方默默祈求，
而不是向对方诸多要求；
可以浪漫，但不要浪费；
可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手。

reedit:

catered to the Chinese-illiterate community

*thank u so mch for the translation. i know it wasnt easy.thanks*

Subject: 可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手
(Can anytime hold hands,but don't simply let go the relationship)



爱的感觉，总是在一开始觉得很甜蜜，
The feeling of love most of the time is the sweetest in the beginning
总觉得多一个人陪、多一个人帮你分担，
Often feel like there's another accompaniment, another person to share
your burden
你终於不再孤单了，至少有一个人想著你、恋著你，
You are no longer alone, at least got someone thinking of you, loving you
不论做什么事情，
No matter what you do
只要能一起，就是好的，
As long as both of you are together, it feels good
但是慢慢的，随著彼此的认识愈深，
However gradually when both of you know each other more and more
你开始发现了对方的缺点，
You realized and saw his weakness
於是问题一个接著一个发生，
Problems occurred one by one
你开始烦、累，甚至想要逃避，
You started to be tired, fed up, even you thought of escaping
有人说爱情就像在捡石头，
Some says love is like picking up stones
总想捡到一个适合自己的，
We want to pick one that is suitable for us
但是你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？
but how do we know when only can we picked the right one?
*她适合你，那你又适合她吗?
If he is suitable to you but how you know you are suitable to him?
其实，爱情就像磨石子一样，
Actually, love is like polishing the stones
或许刚捡到的时候，你不是那么的满意，
Maybe when the first time you picked it up, it is not as much as you expected
但是记住人是有弹性的，
But remember, human are elastic
很多事情是可以改变的，
A lot of things can be changed
只要你有心、有勇气
As long as you have the willingness in your heart and the courages，
与其到处去捡未知的石头，
Better than to picking stones all around
还不如好好的将自己已经拥有的石头磨亮磨，你开始磨了吗？
why not put more effort try to polish what you have already got until
the stone shines,have you started polishing?
很多人以为是因为感情淡了，
A lot of people thought its because the feelings fade
所以人才会变得懒惰。
So we only turned lazy
错！
Wrong!
其实是人先被惰性征服，
Actually we are the one who have been conquered by our laziness
所以感情才会变淡的。
that caused our feelings to fade
*在某个聚餐的场合, 有人提议多吃点虾子对身体好，
这时候有个中年男人忽然说「十年前，当我老婆还是我的女朋友的时候，她说要吃十只虾，我就剥二十只给她！
现在，如果她要我帮她剥虾壳，开玩笑！我连帮她脱衣服都没兴趣了，还剥虾壳咧！
In a gathering, someone suggested that prawns are good for health, at
that ,moment, a middle age man speaks :" 10 years ago when my wife is
still my girl friend, she says she want to eat 10 prawns, i would do
everything for her and peel off the skin of the prawns for her! Now?
If she ask me to help her peel of the skin of the prawn? You're
kidding me! I'm lazy to help her take off her clothes, not to mention
the skin of the prawns.
*听到了吗？明白了吗？
Understand now?
难怪越来越多人只想要谈一辈子的恋爱，却迟迟不肯走入婚姻。
No wonder more and more people does not wish to get married so early
and stays at the stage of boy girl relationship!
因为，婚姻容易让人变得懒惰。
Because after marriage people tend o get lazy
如果每个人都
If everyone also
懒得讲话、
lazy to talk
懒得倾听、
lazy to listen
懒得制造惊喜、
lazy to create surprise
懒得温柔体贴，
lazy to gently care
那么夫妻或是情人之间，
又怎么会不渐行渐远渐无声呢?
Then how would it be possible to maintain the feelings between the couples?

所以请记住：
So remember:
有活力的爱情，
An energetic love
是需要适度殷勤灌溉的，
comes from a certain level of efforts and  hard work of nurture
谈恋爱，更是不可以偷懒的喔！
Lazyiness is restricted, when being in love!

*有一对情侣，相约下班後去用餐、逛街，可是女孩因为公司会议而延误了， 当她冒著雨赶到的时候已经迟到了30多分钟，他的男朋友很不高兴的说：
你每次都这样，现在我甚么心情也没了， 我以後再也不会等你了！ 刹那间，女孩终於决堤崩溃了，她心里在想：或许，他们再也没有未来了

A couple dated for dinner and shopping after work, however the girl
was delayed by the meetings of the company and was late for 30
minutes, she ran through the rain and when she reaches the cafe, her
boyfriend angrily scolded her:"everything you were late, lets just
cancel off our date, i got no more mood ,i will no longer wait for u
anymore in future! At that moment, the girl's heart broke, she
thought:" how can this relationship be lasting? I don't think this
relationship will have a good ending or a good future"  so everything
ends!

*同样的在同一个地点，另一对情侣也面临同样的处境； 女孩赶到的时候也迟到了半个钟头，他的男朋友说：我想你一定忙坏了吧！
接著他为女孩拭去脸上的雨水，并且脱去外套盖在女孩身上， 此刻，女孩流泪了, 但是流过她脸颊的泪却是温馨的。

Under the same situation for another couple. the boyfriend gently
speaks to the girl who is late for 30 minutes :" I think u must be
very tired!" then the boyfriend gently wiped off the raindrops and the
sweat from the girls face, and handover his own sweater to warm the
girl, at this very moment the girl cries, but the tears is so warm
filled with joy.

你体会到了吗？
Now can you feel that yourself?
*其实爱、恨往往只是在我们的一念之间！
Actually love and hatred is just behind one decision

爱不仅要懂得宽容更要及时， 很多事可能只是在於你心境的转变罢了！
For Love, we not only need to know how to be more tolerance, we also
need to know how to change our attitude and perspective on time!
懂了吗？
Understand?
当有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错。
When someone fell for you, and you also feel that his not bad
那并不代表你会选择他。
That doesn't mean that you will definitely choose him
*我们总说：我要找一个你很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。
We always say we want to find someone that we really really love only
will we start a relationship
但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，
But when he ask you what is the measurement of true love?what is the
measurement of very very in love?
你可能无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。
You fail to answer, cause you don't know the answer as well

*没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。
Thats right,we often thought that we will find someone we really really love
可是後来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。
End up when we think back we will realize how naive we are in the beginning
假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？
If there is never a start, how would you know in the end you won't be
really really in love with that guy?
其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之後才会发现的。
Actually, the true loves and the feeling of loving deeply only comes
after both were together and experienced ups and downs and went
through lots of situation.
或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，
Everyone hope to find someone 100% as their partner
但是你有没有想过在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了，只是你没发 觉而已呢？
But have you ever thought there might be someone beside you that has
been giving silently, being your guardian angel yet you never realize
him?
所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧！
Thats why, pay more attention to the people around you
他或许已经等你很久喽！
He might have been waiting for very very long time

*当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。
When love someone, love till 80% is just a nice level
所有的期待和希望都只有七八分；剩下两三分用来爱自己。
so you would have another 20% to love yourself
如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能会给对方沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来， 完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。
If you choose to love more, maybe you might create a situation where
too much pressure for him till his sophisticated and loss the fun of
love


*所以请记住，
so remember
喝酒不要超过六分醉，
drinking don't exceed 60% drunk
吃饭不要超过七分饱，
eating don't exceed 70% full
爱一个人不要超过八分
love someone don't exceed 80%

*那天朋友问我：到底该怎么做才算是爱一个人呢？
that day my friend ask me what should i do only consider loving someone?
我笑著跟他说：其实每个人的爱情观都不一样，说对了叫开导，但就怕说错反倒变成误导。那就糟糕了！
I smile and say:" everyone has different perspective towards love,
when my suggestion is correct then it will be a"revelation" for you
yet if what i say is wrong, then it will cause you a big trouble





(BELOW ARE MORE POETIC AS IT RHYMES AND SOME OF THE WORDS CAN HARDLY
BE REPLACE BY ONE WORD IN ENGLISH SO THE TRANSLATION IS A BIT WEIRD
:P )

*如果你也正在为爱迷惘，或许下面这段话可以给你一些启示：
If you are so lost in love, maybe the below statement might give you
some revelation
爱一个人，要了解，也要开解；
Love someone  needs understanding and also listen and help solving
要道歉，也要道谢；
need apologize and also need to say thanks
要认错，也要改错；
need to admit our wrong and also need to correct it and never do it again
要体贴，也要体谅；
need to be gentle,caring and also need to be understand and tolerate
是接受，而不是忍受；
should accept but not forcing our self to "tahan" him
是宽容，而不是纵容；
is forgiving but not compromising
是支持，而不是支配；
is support but not giving orders
是慰问，而不是质问；
is ask with concern but questioning with suspicion
是倾诉，而不是控诉；
is tell out from heart to heart but not complaining
是难忘，而不是遗忘；
is unforgettable but not forgetful
是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；
is communicating  not  telling something as a "duty or responsibility"
是为对方默默祈求，
is silently pray for the person
而不是向对方诸多要求；
but not asking uncontrollably
可以浪漫，但不要浪费；
can be romantic but don't waste
可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手。
Can hold hands anytime but don't separate and give up the relationship easily!