Wednesday 26 May 2010

a note for him

note for KJ:

son, today, at this very moment, it is 6.57 pm already and your dearest father is crazily banging on guitar hero. he said let him play one last song before he goes over to bring you back. he forbids me to go over and bring u home now because once you are home, he cant blare the music as loud as he would love to.

and also, son, uncle charles asked me to make a record, for pay-back time. at this age, at what time, what date, u bit my nipple, sometimes even pull the nipple and looked up at mum with innocent eyes.

it is 7.02pm. my head is thumping from the music.

if he doesnt move any longer, im going to yell. HA-HA
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Friday 21 May 2010

not healthy

this is a dilemma.

wives are suppose to do the domestic chores, as they are known to be the domestic wives!

but what happens if both the husband and wife work in the same profession?

after work, the wife has to come home and continue slaving to serve the LIFE partner?

i know, there are wives outside who still have to work and bring money home and yet has to come home and do all the chores.

those people really deserve to be respected.

i cant cope. no matter how embarrassing this is, i still have to admit cause this is the reality.

i wont pretend to be a superwife and supermom when i am not one.

sad right?

i really do love serving him but despite all these while, it just dawned upon me that i just cant do it! :(

life becomes bitter when it reaches this stage.

this is not a healthy start to a new family, especially.

something has to be done.

oh, by the way, ive got a maid :) but she only comes once a week. not helping much when u have a husband who has a full time maid at home, not forgetting a very lenient mom.

it pisses me off when i need to do charity everyday as well. it is unwilling type of charity.
whyyy??? u need to be willing and happy when u want to do charity right?
grhh

runaway

i so so so so feel like running home.

but home is far far away

i so want to just grab my son and off we go

Wednesday 19 May 2010

emotional, with an E



feels so emo...

the moment we reach home from work, he stripped himself in the living room and put on sports attire and off he goes to the field.

while the woman ...doesnt know where to start. she has to fold the clothes which was brought in (afraid of rain) during lunch time. yes, she goes home during lunch time to store the ebm. then, she has to cook dinner, which begins to be such a chore these days.

she doesnt like to share the kitchen, working in a kitchen with MEN who doesnt know the unspoken rules in the kitchen. waters dripping everywhere, to name a few. the position of a knife. bla bla bla. furthermore, u have the guts, u unabashedly come home straight from work, compete with me, quickly rush to the kitchen to use MY UTENSILS first. what is this??

not to mention u sneakily use my water thermos! and u said u WILL only pay RM 20 per month??? HUHHHHHH???????

im doing charity???

ugh! i so feel like crying. so feel like running home, with my son of course.

talk about JUSTICE! about fairness! equality between man and woman. haihhh...

upsets me.

im no superwoman after all.

no appetite tonight. worse is, i feel nauseous.

i miss him...


Tuesday 11 May 2010

fish & co

mothers day dinner at 4pm :S
taken on 9/5/10~

Sunday 9 May 2010

M day 2010

its 7.30am and im already back from the morning market !

the silai-ness!

haha!

well, if i dont cook, he would want to eat out! so to save money, i have to prepare food!!

oh, ive digressed.

for those who are in the dark...

this is my update!

kayjay was born premature. and he still cannot play kuci kuci koo... or ang gu gu..

anyway, he is my new toy and im willing to stay home and not go to the movies...

i cant possibly go to the cinema and leave him with the nanny! unless if my mom is here to look after him, then it is a different story ;)

anyway anyway,

one night, i got up to pee at 2am. as your tummy gets bigger, you will pee more frequently. so then, after peeing, i went back to bed. after 10 mins, my eyelids flew open! i went " wth? i pee-ed in my pants?"
so i got up and walked to the toilet and stare down at my legs. eh? how come it trickles along my thigh? and how come it looked a little gooey? it was transparent..
i woke him up and he was still in a daze. he said, HOLD ON, let me check first. he sat up, put on his glasses and typed on the computer.
i couldnt wait anymore, so i said COME LETS GO TO THE HOSP! thought i was being smart, i brought along my identification card.

when we reached Likas Hospital, the HO said i need to be admitted, need to deliver within 24 hours. cause water broke, so scared of infection and the water bag will dry up.

stupid right? it didnt occur to me that it is the water bag.

and i said i THOUGHT i was smart right? by right i should bring along towels, toothbrush and etc etc...

there were a little confusion as i wasnt very certain with my term date. is that what u call? i mean the number of weeks that i was in. so doctors were contemplating on whether if i should be given IV dexamethasone.

i was given IV ampicillin to prevent infection.

the contractions came in the morning and i held on to fh's hand, which he claimed that i could have broken his fingers. -_-'''
ehee

the dilations were slow and Dr.ramon was kind enough to push me in to the labour room when it was only 2.5 cm. the government only allows Epidural to be given from 3cm onwards.

i waited for eons for Dr. Jasmine, the anaesthesiologist. the Apgar score was high (strong contractions) and i was forbade to push. have to tahan cause need to wait for her. the bloody nurses ignored me and the room was bloody hot. hb wasnt allowed to be in the labour room initially but i lied and he ended up in the room at the end :D well i didnt exactly lied, i told the nurse to call him in because i want to ask him to go buy baby stuff cause we had NONE! no towel, no clothes, no whatsoever!

when the bear got unbearable! i told hubby that i want to be operated! it was like u want to pass motion and it is already at our tip but u had to PUSH it BACK inside! they asked me not to push! bah!

so when i said i couldnt stand it any longer, HB went out and tell them then the midwives came in and said i could deliver already, without the epidural.

:S

by that time, the apgar score dropped and the contractions were not that strong and frequent anymore :( so i had to push many many times. sigh. i wasnt allowed to yell. not that i am yelling. i felt sleepy.

sorry. this was typed yesterday (sunday, Mothers' Day). typed halfway and ds (dear son) woke up and i had to feed him and then laundry and prepare lunch. after lunch, chill for a while and went out till 7pm and i fell unconscious at 8pm till 2am for the next feed, and woke up late this morning, at 7am.

the story will be continued, when im in the mood :p


Saturday 8 May 2010

omg omg! i have to spill this!

i AM smitten by a dr!!

omgggGGG! help!!!!

he is cute , no 1!

he is a specialist ! no 2!

fh teases me sometimes, to make matters worse!

what on earth is happening?

hormone imbalance is the culprit?

help help!!

he is so cuteeeeeeee

tell me that im perasan! cause im quite sure he likes me too! ahahAHAHHAHAHA

cmon people! laugh!!! :DDD

he asked me out for dinner! wheeewit!! thanks to a patient! she asked him to ask me out! whoohoo!!!

ahahahhaahahaha

and he asked if i want to play badminton!

it is so OMG right???

and i am so crazy over kayjay!!!!

i'd rather watch him sleep and not read up on diabetic drugs or do my antifungal report! :S