a flicker of light...it's not over

i dont want to be so pessimistic

i dont want to lose the enthusiasm which i once had,

where i can enthusiastically go on and on and on and push and encourage people to go after their key.

you are the padlock.  u need a key to unlock. no?

why are we searching for the key? why do we need to?

why cant we leave the padlock alone? why does it have to be unlocked?

suddenly, i thought of Rani. thought she could help.

she is a lawyer anyway. think she can convince me?

ahahahahah

back to where ive started.

im losing the zeal...

what happen to my MODEST ZEAL?

i find it odd. as i only realised this yesterday. when a friend asked for advice. i told him to go after the girl whom he thinks he likes. whom he thinks will bring him to wonderland. but how sure he is that she is able to do that?

how does he know if the girl will instead bring him to maze, with many rose bushes?

(maze because he can get lost. rose because it has thorns)

no man...no...i dont want to be so pessimistic!!! grHHHH!!!!

hence, i was rather nonchalant. i told him " yeah...thats what u should do. go after her if u think u like her". :S what kinda attitude do i have here?

im so pissed!

and what is more annoying ...is that!!!! i finally bought a Danielle Steel! which never fails to feed me love. i would usually pour over the book and finished it in 1 night.

i used to lah

but yesterday...i could feel the agony...like i had to force myself to read the first few sentences of the novel and to read further.

like...wtf?

after 2 pages, i snapped the book shut and threw it aside.

what the hell is wrong with me?

grhHHHHH