the day of the month

today is the day,
that the water dam broke.
i cried.
not cry, like really CRY OUT LOUD. no sobbings involved.
just spillage.
-_-''''

i just dont feel comfortable.
i feel very very VERY lethargic.
at 4pm, my eyes were already spinning.
the moment it rang 5pm, i was one of the first few to queue in front of the punch card machine.

i always carry down my workbag from the car but today is one exceptional day.
never did i leave it in the car. very RARE.
dear hb didnt help me to bring down. this is not the first time we argued about this.
he would just speed away,
meeting his love and other lovers in the field.

a thought played in my mind.
what happens if he cannot part with this lifestyle for the rest of his life?
what would become of me? and my son? and my future children?
what lies ahead?
frightening, isnt it?
is he childish?
or am i the childish one having this thought?

i cant sleep.
what should i do?
it is 6pm.
worked up some muscles and went out to watch kayjay for a wee while.
came back into the house,
remembered that ive marinated chicken yesterday or was it day before yesterday?
on days like this, i could potentially cause a burnt.
but i told myself, to beware!
so i place the pot of marinated chickens on the stove , put it on medium lowish fire.
came back in to the room and surf the net.

my eyes kept on diverting to the clock, checking the time.
it was almost 7pm, dear hb is coming home.
i should bath before he comes home.
dragged a while more before i stand up,
i changed my mind.
i should cook the rice first.
the moment i fling open the door,
i KNEW it!
the entire house was smoggy!

i turned off the gas.
came back to the room.
that was it surged and leaked.

it is 7.41pm now.
before he went out this evening,
he said he would come home at 7pm and prepare the dinner by 7.30pm.
now 7.42pm.
i havent eaten.
and i couldnt bring the little one home yet.
would i be happy?

i would usually cook and when he comes back,
we would quickly eat.
or if im hungry, i would eat first.
and by 7.30pm,
i would want to bring kayjay home already.

7.43pm

im still here.
u should know what is happening outside.
dinner is still not ready.

i dont feel bad anymore for not preparing meals. be it breakfast, lunch or dinner.

we should all help out.

i wont pile all the responsibility on my back anymore.

guys should help out.

k,not checking what ive typed.
this is to give an insight on married life.

for instance, this is what i usually serve for dinner. simple meal - with 2 dishes. at most, 3 dishes and i would call that a luxury :)