Death and Marriage
last night before falling asleep, KJ asked about death. i forgot how this topic came about but i didnt want him to forget his ah kong , his grandfather so i reminded him how much ah kong loved him. he remembers. he said yes, ah kong always say that "i am guai guai" which is indeed true, my father always repeated those words to him.
it feels sad that my dad is not around to watch him at this age so what i can do is to remind him about ah kong.
i told him that ah kong is still here with us, he is with God up there hence he is watching us all the time. in a way i feel like im a hypocrite because i am not a Godly person. but i still need to give them an answer dont i?
hence i elaborated about how ah kong's spirit has left his body (because he says ah kong's body is buried).
kj: ah kong is not on earth now?
me: yes he is not. when he passed away, his body will be here but his spirit will leave his body and fly up to be with God.
kj: ohh i know,so when i die next time i will see ah kong?
me: yes u know. but ideally i should join ah kong first before you. when you are old next time then u will join me . so whenever u want to talk to ah kong, just put your hands together and speak to him, he will hear you.
kj: like that? then i can talk to him?
me: yes
kj: ok. but usually i will only talk to him when im in ah ma's house. when i want to talk to him, i will just pai pai to him.
awwwww. im glad to know he still remembers. i cant remember my childhood so not much memory. how sad.
right, after 2 mins of silence,
kj: do u know that aldrich and tamara are dancing together ? (for annual concert) and they look like.....
me: girlfriend and boyfriend? (i have not talked to them about girlfriends and boyfriends ever)
kj: like husband and wife
me: oh wow!
30 sec silence,
kj: mummy, so when will i marry?
im caught by surprised.
me: when you are old enough
kj cut in : when i leave home?
i wasnt prepared for such topic because he cant even bear the thought of sleepin on his own! let alone leave home? leave us?? (heart crushed)
he sounded so cool when he said that as-a-matter-of-fact. usually he will wail when his dad tells him he needs to sleep on his own in his own bedroom.
me: yes when you are old enough to leave home and start a family of your own. you wil marry your bestfriend like i do.
kj with enlarged eyes: YOU and DADDY ARE BESTFRIENDS?
me: yes we are. i love you no matter where you are and how old you will be. now im looking after you and when i am old, its your turn to look after me. same goes for ah ma. she looks after me when im young and when she is old i will look after her.
kj: but ah ma is there now.
me: yes she.....(tongue-tied) is...she is not very old yet (heh) she is capable of looking after herself now. (thinking back, i feel guilty for not spending enough time but yet we cant spend too much time with one another )
anyway, this is the first time we talked about death or partings in peace. otherwise kj will always cry whenever we talk about ah kong or him leaving us.
you have grown son.
