we decided not to be fussy, we'll see whoever (doctor) that the nurse has arranged for us.
i was referred to the Hospital because my baby was suspected to be IUGR. (intra uterine growth retardation)
that thursday, was a shocking day in my entire life, which i will not forget.
we saw Dr Dianie and she suggested that i go for an operation immediately. after getting a mandatory dexamethasone jab.
i totally lost it.
i wasn't expecting a cesarean at all!
tears blinded my eyes and thankgod hubs knew what ive wanted in this pregnancy. this birth.
ive been hoping for a gentle birth. a fuss free birth. with the least intervention possible.
that is also why we rejected offers to see the HOD of O&G and the Fetal medicine specialist.
sigh.
which we regretted.
we have learned our lesson.
if in future i get pregnant again, i will make sure i fuss about every single sh*t.
Dr.VJ says it is pertinent to get a detailed scan done.
i kept quiet in front of Dr.Dianie. i was staring at her wide windows behind her.
hubs then broke the ice.
what other choice do we have? he enquired.
what happens if we don't do the cesarean?
well, it seems there are no other choice.
1:go for op
2:baby might not make it
i dont want 1 or 2!!
no choice no3?
i dont want to be butchered!!!!!!!
sigh
i pleaded so she called dr.christine and the verdict is to be warded for a week for observation.
A week!!! gah!
i was in my work clothes.
so i went up to the ward. in general ward because first class room was full.
to be precise, i have to sit/rest on a bed in the hallway temporarily before moving in to a general room of 8 beds.
if u think that makes me happier, i get to choose my bed on the hallway. -______-
when i was transferred to the general room, i was not in the mood to socialize or to speak to anyone so i lied down quietly at the corner of the room. thank god for that bed.
after dinner was served (i had none), the nurse came and escorted me to the first class room of 2 beds. my bed was the one facing the window. phew.
hubs brought me dinner.
baby was :
breeched
IUGR
oligohydramnios - low AFI (amniotic fluid)
prematured (small at that age)
i was a bunch of mess.
question mark - no leakage but low AFI.
the nurses have to record if i wet my panty liner throughout the hospital stay.
adui, i have to repeated tell them no, no, no.
i might sound exasperated here but of course i was all sweet to them :)
i have to order hubs to buy a packet of panty liner just for this purpose.
he bought one with scent. eekk!
i would prefer them without. :(
warded thursday, friday i wanted to go mad.
i was crying and sobbing till i have to do it in the bathroom.
friday night when hubs brought kj to visit me, i was all tears.
hubs then contacted the Fetal & maternal specialist dr.VJ and he was really kind.
he visited me the next morning and discharged me.
that was a saturday.
it wasnt my intention to be discharged.
i wanted to seek for his opinion.
but i suppose he knew no one likes to stay in the hospital.
so it was a bonus for me.
eagerly i went home, ensured i was on bed all the time and drank lots of fluid and coconut water.
some people say AFI can increase by increasing hydration, although Dianie says nothing can help.
staying positive is also essential.
hubs was worried.
in turn i was the one consoling him, that we will be well. let nature runs its course.
whatever that is meant to be.
on sunday, i tried to talk to my baby when no one was looking. because i dont have the habit of talking to my pre-born baby.
i also began to question myself and wonder where to draw the line.
the line of wether to trust my maternal instinct or to give in to the medical world.
despite all the fear, i had to constantly check on the movements of the baby.
hubs did fetal heart every 3 hours, manually with a stethoscope.
on monday, we went back to clinic to see Dr.VJ.
he scanned and suggested the same treatment, that is for cesarean on the same day.
elective lscs (Lower segment cesarian section)
it was an emergency of some sort.
they will put me in the list and i will be called to OT when all scheduled procedures were done.
hence again i had to be warded.
hubs have to go home and fetch my belongings to the hospital.
i have prepared the neccessities at home over the weekend.
waited from morning to night, i was not called yet.
the anxiety and agony of waiting was horrendous.
i was having migraine by then. -_____-
dr.dianie promised to be the butcher. hehe
we were breathing down the HO's and MO's neck in our ward, pressuring them to check for the availability in the OT as we didnt want our procedure to be conducted in the middle of the night, not for our own convenience but we felt bad for disturbing our gynae.
true enough,
11th june 2013, tuesday
this little cutie joined us in this world at 12.02am.
1:24am
Post surgery.
mommy's drowsy
1:26am
the black bag at the bottom of my feet is the placenta.
2kg at birth, 35 weeks. 1:52am
postulated to be 1.8kg on week 34.
on week 35 he was scanned to be 2.2kg.
4:17am
he went to the ward with me upon hubs insistence that he was doing well.
we struggled a wee bit on breastfeeding.
my body was dead so i was banking on hubs to carry and position the bub.
he pooed.
then hubs found him to be purplish so he was sent out straightaway.
4:57am
4:59am
transported to NICU
sepet eyes here make him resembles his brother
10:12am
2 antibiotics given : gentamicin and cloxacillin. covering for pneumonia.
off after 3 days.
treated as RDS
12 june 6:48am
12 june 1:43pm
specialist came for rounds and gave an earful to the staffs for attaching the cuties (soft toys) on the tubes.
they are a source of infection...something like that.
13 june 9:35am
13 june 9:35am
14 june 11:35am
14 june 11:35am
14 june 11:35am
14 june 9:04pm
15 june 5:03pm
1.97kg
his father can easily lift him with one hand.
Discharge procedure SUCKS.
i waited for so freaking long that i had hemorrhage.
i could feel it because my inner thigh starts to throb and feels sore!
all thanks to the nurse.
taking her time to discharge me and for her convenience, she asked me to wait for another lady so that she can escort us down together.
yes, the nurse needs to escort us and our baby down to the ground floor and pass some forms to the guard.
we have to sign too.
and show them our baby's tag (strap around their feet).
all these security made me boil with anger!
by the time we were down at the security guard's station, i was fuming.
i sternly said Tidak perlu check tag sudah. and stomped off!
we were not prepared for all these.
it wasnt like that during kj's time.
i left home in the morning at 10 to the hospital and got stranded there till 5pm?
can u imagine?
i was in Day 5 of confinement!
dehydrated and hungry!
they wanted to make sure my baby can latch on properly.
im not a new mother but perhaps i was clumsy so they thought i was one?
hehe
shame.
anyway, i said i know how to bf! but they still insisted that i stay there for a couple of hours to establish breastfeeding before leaving.
wtf
no thanks to my baby.
we struggled.
he does not want to feed so i just stayed there cradling him and waited for time to pass.
-________-
i suppose he needs time to gain his suckling motion?
since he was away from me so he did not latch on directly.
he drank from cup.
he is a pro by now if you are wondering :)
he could play with my nipples after a month.
pull, stretch and release and quickly suck back.
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